God places great value upon marriage. At Creation, He did not establish kingdoms or laws or governments or authorities as the foundation for society. He established the family unit and ordained that it should be based upon marriage between one man and one woman.

After bringing the world and everything in it into existence, God provided a wife for Adam, the man He had created. We read in Genesis 2:18, “And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.”

In verses 21-24, we learn how God addressed man’s need for a suitable companion. “And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; and the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” The term translated cleave in this Scripture means “to adhere or stick together.” It describes the joining together of a man and woman, the two becoming “one flesh.” Marriage was to be a union that excluded all others. That union is the basis for the stability of the family, society, and the nation.

There are many aspects of marriage that could be considered, but one vital aspect is that marriage is for life. Several Scriptures in the New Testament establish that the lifelong union between a man and a woman was God’s intention for marriage from the beginning. For example, in Matthew’s Gospel we read that Pharisees came to Jesus and asked, “Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause? And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, and said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together let not man put asunder” (Matthew 19:3-6).¹

In Romans 7:1-2, Paul the Apostle wrote these words: “Know ye not, brethren, (for I speak to them that know the law,) how that the law hath dominion over a man as long as he liveth? For the woman which hath an husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he liveth; but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her husband.” Like the Romans to whom Paul was writing, we know what God says about marriage: that it is a union only to be severed by death.

At the Portland camp meeting in 1974, after the evening service on July 10, on the back road behind the tabernacle, I asked my girlfriend, Wendy, if she would marry me. She said yes! When we were married just over seven months later, we had no questions about how long we would stay married; we knew our marriage was for life. We had grown up learning that divorce is not an option, and we thank God that the matter was settled in our hearts before we said, “I do.”

Challenges come to every marriage, and sometimes people say, “What if this happens in a marriage? Is divorce allowed?” or “What about that situation? Should the two stay together?” We find some answers in the Apostle Paul’s response to questions about marriage from the believers in Corinth. In the first nine verses of 1 Corinthians 7, Paul wrote to those who were unmarried and those who were contemplating marriage. Then in verse 10, he began to address married individuals and answer some questions that evidently had been presented to him. By looking at his responses, we can conclude what those questions were.

One question Paul apparently had been asked was, “What if one individual in a marriage wants to leave? What should be done?” This still happens at times, and the same question arises. Paul wrote in response, “And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from the husband.” The phrase, “Yet not I, but the Lord,” indicates that Paul was basing his reply on the instructions the Lord himself had given.² Paul went on to say, “But and if she [the wife] depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife” (1 Corinthians 7:10-11).

Another question posed to Paul seems to have been what should take place if one in a marriage was a believer and the other was not. Many of the Corinthians had come to Christ from paganism. They seemingly felt that after being converted, they should break all ties with the unbelieving world, including the marriage bond. So the question was asked, “Should the marriage be severed?” Not by any means! Paul said, “If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away. And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him” (1 Corinthians 7:12-13).

As in Paul’s day, challenges come. However, as Christians we are children of peace and so we must make every effort to resolve differences and preserve the marriage. Paul went on to give the reason: “For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife?” It may be that the godly and peaceable behavior of one individual in a marriage will lead that person’s spouse to God. But whether or not that is the case, a vow was taken, and it is binding until death.

When Wendy and I stood before the minister who performed our wedding ceremony, I made my vow before God and those present, and she made her vow before God and those present. Her vows were not mine, and my vows were not hers. My vows are not dependent upon Wendy fulfilling her vows, nor are her vows dependent upon me fulfilling my vows. We are individually responsible to God to keep the commitments we made.

We do not minimize the suffering that broken vows create. Wendy and I have friends and family who have dealt with this situation, and we know the sorrow and grief that comes with it. Yet, think of the privilege the one who stays true to his or her marriage vow has—he or she may be able to influence that one who has departed! Prayers can change situations. And God will supply grace to those who stay true to the vows they have taken before God and to the principles regarding marriage that are found in the Word of God.

Circumstances do not change the sanctity of the marriage vow; the union that was established is permanent in God’s sight. The world accepts almost any reason to dissolve a marriage, but marriage is not merely a social or civil institution. It is a God-ordained and sacred ordinance. The marriage bond was established by God himself. No man or woman, state or government, legislation or law, can break or change God’s Word, and His Word says marriages are only to be dissolved by death.

The world has made a mockery out of the Word of God in our day and especially concerning the institution of marriage. It is evident that when Biblical principles are ignored and it is left up to man to make decisions about marriages, there is chaos and shipwreck, and that affects the family. If the enemy can destroy the family unit, then cities, governments, and nations suffer as well.

God’s commandments about marriage are being attacked more and more in our day. Civil and legal authorities look to their own “commandments” and ignore what God said in His Word. Jesus rebuked the Pharisees for doing this. Some of them had come to Jesus asking why His disciples did not follow the traditions of the elders. He told them, “Thus have ye made the commandment of God of none effect by your tradition. Ye hypocrites, well did Esaias prophesy of you, saying, This people draweth nigh unto me with their mouth, and honoureth me with their lips; but their heart is far from me. But in vain they do worship me, teaching for doctrines the commandments of men” (Matthew 15:6-9). The Pharisees were the Jewish religious leaders in Jesus’ day, yet they failed to adhere to the commandments of God.

Jesus said in John 14:15, “If ye love me, keep my commandments.” That is very simple. God wants us to make it to Heaven, and even though at times His instructions prick our hearts, we want to be careful to follow. How many marriages would be saved and how many families would remain intact if people simply followed the Word of God? Those who refuse to obey will be judged for their disobedience. We read in 1 Peter 4:17-18, “For the time is come that judgment must begin at the house of God: and if it first begin at us, what shall the end be of them that obey not the gospel of God? And if the righteous scarcely be saved, where shall the ungodly and the sinner appear?” We do not want to be judged for failing to obey God’s commandments, and that includes His commandments regarding marriage.

The enemy of our souls is against your marriage and your family! He is against your beliefs! You may suffer opposition for standing for the principles of God’s Word, but if you are in the will of God, He will be there to help you through any suffering.

I am sixty-nine years old, and I was saved when I was thirteen. Not once in all those years has the Lord failed me, nor has He failed Wendy and me in over fifty years of marriage. I know He will not fail you either. His Word tells us, “Wherefore let them that suffer according to the will of God commit the keeping of their souls to him in well doing, as unto a faithful Creator” (1 Peter 4:19). Through all the trials and tests, if we just commit our lives to Him and purpose to obey His Word, He will be with us and sustain us.

We realize that perspectives and ideas and the “what ifs” abound in any consideration of marriage. But what does God’s Word say? We read, “Every word of God is pure: he is a shield unto them that put their trust in him. Add thou not unto his words, lest he reprove thee, and thou be found a liar” (Proverbs 30:5-6). We want to follow the Word of God regarding our views of our marriages, our home lives, and our families. In good times, in sorrow, in gladness, the Word of God is our road map. We do not want to be guided by man’s ideas; we want to know what God says.

Every marriage needs to be built on God’s Word. There is no greater benefit in a marriage than to have the pure Word of God at its core. Every marriage needs a shield, and God will be a shield to a marriage that is in accord with His instructions and has been committed to Him. God has the power to defeat the opposition and forces that come against a marriage and a family, and we need that shield!

Let us purpose to pray for our families, that God will put a shield about them so the world’s ideas and perspectives cannot enter in. Let us look to the Word of God and obey His instructions about our marriages and our homes, knowing that as we do so, we will thrive under His care and protection.

¹ The Gospel writer Mark described the same question and response in Mark 10:1-12.

² See Matthew 19:19; Mark 10:11; Luke 16:18.

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God Is My Husband‍

Dee Cummins tells how God helped her out of a wrong marriage in a miraculous way. Read a longer version of her testimony here.

‍Growing up, I always wanted to be a Christian, as it was apparent to me that God blessed the lives of those who served Him. However, in my teenage years, the worldly lifestyle looked glamorous and appealing, and I made up my mind that I wanted to wait awhile before giving my life to the Lord. What an unwise decision that was! Those wasted years filled with sinful choices brought consequences.

In 1991, the Lord really started convicting my heart. There was tremendous fear in my heart that the Lord would return and I wouldn’t be ready to meet Him. Part of me wanted to surrender to God, but by that time I was married in adultery. My first husband was still living, and I knew I couldn’t be in a wrong marriage and be ready for Heaven.

Many times, I told God that I didn’t know how I could get along without my husband, but if He would help me out of my marriage, I would give Him my life. Then one day, the Lord spoke so clearly to me that He could come even while I was praying, and I was not ready to meet Him. Thoughts about what my husband might say or do paled in comparison to the thought of standing before God to give an account of my life. That day, I knelt beside my bed and poured out my heart to God, confessing my sins and asking His forgiveness. In a moment of time, He answered that prayer and forgave me. Peace and joy filled my heart!

I really didn’t know what to do next, but I knew that God had given me an assurance that He would help me explain to my husband what had happened. Amazingly, almost immediately after I was saved, my husband said he was so sorry, but he couldn’t come near me; he felt like there was a barrier around me. I know now that was the power of God.

The Lord was there as I shared Scriptures with my husband and told him that God had saved me. God helped both of us through those next few months. We moved into separate bedrooms and he did not hinder me from going to church. In fact, he showed much respect as I did my devotions at home. Eventually, he found a nice house to buy and moved out.

His move meant that I became responsible for tasks he had always done, including yardwork. The hedge along the front of the property presented a problem: it was over seventy feet long and towered above my head. Trimming it was a huge task, which became a big concern to me. Our homeowner’s association required that properties be maintained or the association could hire out the needed work and send the bill to the homeowner. I could not cut back the hedge myself, but because I was on a limited budget, it was out of the question for me to hire someone to take care of it.

One day, as I read my Bible, the words of Isaiah 54:5 spoke to my heart, “For thy Maker is thine husband; the Lord of hosts is his name.” I felt like I had found a treasure! I asked the Lord, “Does that mean You’ll be my husband? Will You help me with things like my hedge?”

A while later, as I looked out my dining room window on Christmas morning, I saw to my amazement that my hedge had been trimmed and shaped perfectly. It was a miracle! I asked people close to me if they had done it, but no one knew anything about it. I knew God had kept His promise to me and taken care of that task, just as a husband would have done.

Later, when it was time to sell the house, the hedge had grown tall again and I reminded God, “You are my husband.” The next day, the hedge was cut back again. The Lord once again proved that there is nothing too difficult for Him.

God repaired my life and replaced sin’s damage with blessings and beauty. He has been so good to me!

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