One
Woman
for One Man
for Life
From a sermon
by Rene Cassell |
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Marriage is an emotional and sometimes controversial
subject in our world today. However, God instituted marriage,
and He has a plan for it. As Christians, it is our responsibility
to search the Scriptures in order to understand God's guidelines
regarding this important issue.
In the beginning, God created. He spoke and
the firmament came into existence. He made water, dry land,
trees, and vegetation. The sun and the moon were put in their
places, animals and other living creatures were created, but
God's world was not yet complete. God wanted a being who could
represent Him, love Him, serve Him, and worship Him, so He
created man. When all this had been done, it says, “And God
saw every thing that he had made, and, behold, it was very
good” (Genesis 1:31). God was pleased with what He had accomplished.
Not long after that, God said it was not good!
In Genesis 2:18, we read, “And the Lord God said, It is not
good.” There was a reason why He said that. God saw that it
was not good for man to be alone: he needed a helper. So God
caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam. He took one of Adam's
ribs, “And the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man,
made he a woman, and brought her unto the man” (Genesis 2:22).
Notice that God created a woman, not women. God made only
one suitable companion for Adam. One was sufficient to perform
what God had commanded in Genesis 1:28, “Be fruitful, and
multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it.”
It is significant that in Genesis 2:23, the
woman made from Adam's rib was referred to as “woman.” In
verse 25, she is referred to as Adam's “wife.” Something had
happened—God had instituted marriage! God had made the two
as one.
Have you ever wondered why God did not make
both man and woman from the dust of the ground instead of
forming Eve from Adam's rib? Adam didn't have any choice in
the matter. God did it for him. This is why we should seek
the Lord before we marry—because when God makes the choice
for us, we will have the right partner in life. The most important
choice we make in life is who we will serve: God or Satan.
The second most important choice is who we will marry. The
selection of a marriage partner is not an inconsequential
decision, and that is why it should be left to God. When God
puts it together, He chooses the right one for us.
Consider the fact that marriage was established
before there was any sin in the world. Every other institution
was established after sin had taken place. Marriage was not
put in place because of sin—there was no sin! That is why
the marriage covenant is so sacred; it never should be taken
lightly.
The question, “What is marriage?” is one that
is debated in our society today. The dictionary says that
marriage is the legal union of a man and woman as husband
and wife. Some are trying to revise that definition to say
that marriage is the legal union of two individuals. However,
that is not what the Word of God says.
The Bible is clear that a physical relationship
between two men or two women is an abomination. Leviticus
18:22 says, “Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind:
it is abomination.” Society may look at such a relationship
as an “alternative lifestyle,” but using different words does
not change anything. Same-sex marriage is an abomination,
and the Word of God condemns it.
This principle is also found in the New Testament.
In Romans 1:27 we read, “And likewise also the men, leaving
the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward
another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and
receiving in themselves that recompense of their error which
was meet.” God will pour out His judgment on those who engage
in such behaviors unless they repent and separate, for the
Bible says, “they which commit such things are worthy of death”
(Romans 1:32).
Our society today also says that a marriage
can be dissolved. That is not what God says. Mark 10:9 reads,
“What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put
asunder.” In the marriage vow, a covenant is made—a binding
promise before God that is in effect until death separates
the two. While the law may allow for the dissolution of a
marriage, in God's eyes that marriage is in existence until
one of the marriage partners dies.
Who do you want to spend the rest of your life
with? If you are not prepared to spend fifty or sixty years
with someone, do not marry that one. Look down through the
years and see your prospective partner in old age. Would you
still love him or her? That is a measuring stick we have to
use.
Before we marry, we need to pray, and we need
to review what the Word of God says about choosing a marriage
partner. We find some basic direction in 2 Corinthians 6:14.
It says, “Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers:
for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness?
and what communion hath light with darkness?” One who is saved
needs to seek a marriage companion who is saved. That person
needs to be more than just religious; the two need to be one
in doctrine. One may go to church, but if he or she does not
believe what the other believes, they will have conflict.
There are times, even in a marriage of believers,
when the situation changes and one of them backslides. What
happens then? Does the saved individual separate from the
spouse who is not saved? No, the Bible says, “If any brother
hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell
with him, let him not put her away. And the woman which hath
an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell
with her, let her not leave him” (1 Corinthians 7:12-13).
That is clear.
That is a time when your light must shine a
little brighter. When you end up with an unsaved partner,
your life can help to influence that one. Paul goes on to
say, “If the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother
or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath
called us to peace. For what knowest thou, O wife, whether
thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether
thou shalt save thy wife?” (1 Corinthians 7:15-16). Your faithfulness
could cause that one to turn back to God. If they do not see
that “light” in you, your behavior could cause them to go
far away and never come back.
Even if one partner leaves the marriage, no
allowance is given for remarriage. There is nothing in God's
plan for remarriage while the first companion lives. Divorce
and remarriage constitute adultery. We read in 1 Corinthians
7:10-11, “And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the
Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: but and if
she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to
her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.” The
only thing that can rightly separate those in a marriage is
death.
Romans 7:2-3 reinforces this: “For the woman
which hath an husband is bound by the law to her husband so
long as he liveth; but if the husband be dead, she is loosed
from the law of her husband. So then if, while her husband
liveth, she be married to another man, she shall be called
an adulteress.” In Luke 16:18, we find the same instruction
given concerning the man. “Whosoever putteth away his wife,
and marrieth another, committeth adultery: and whosoever marrieth
her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery.”
Both the man who separated from his wife and married someone
else, and the man who married the wife of another man are
guilty of adultery.
At times, even a Christian's marriage
can end in divorce, in spite of his or her attempts to avoid
it. That does not give either partner the right to remarry.
God can provide grace to keep a person pure and holy. God
blesses and strengthens the one who purposes to live
according to His instructions, and helps him or her to continue
to live a victorious life as a single person.
Some look at Matthew 19:9 and suggest that it
presents a situation where one can lawfully divorce and remarry:
“And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except
it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth
adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit
adultery.” They point to the phrase, “except it be for fornication,”
and claim that the “innocent party” is allowed to divorce
and remarry. They say since that one had no control over the
circumstances and the spouse was unfaithful, he or she is
entitled to another husband or another wife.
To understand this passage, we must look at
the word fornication. Fornication is committed by one who
is not married. If a married individual has a sexual relationship
with a person other than his or her spouse, that one is committing
adultery, not fornication.
This verse refers to the Jewish law concerning
a vow of espousal. Under that law, the espousal was as binding
as the marriage vow. The couple came together to make an espousal
agreement, but once the arrangement had been made, the two
parties had to be separate for about a year while preparations
were made for the actual wedding. When that time period was
up, they came together and the marriage was consummated. If,
during that espousal period, one broke the agreement and had
a sexual union with another person, that was fornication.
Under Jewish Law, that was grounds for the promised union
to be dissolved.
Joseph is an example of this. In Matthew 1:18-19,
we read, “Now the birth of Jesus Christ was on this wise:
when as his mother Mary was espoused to Joseph, before they
came together, she was found with child of the Holy Ghost.
Then Joseph her husband, being a just man, and not willing
to make her a publick example, was minded to put her away
privily.” Joseph knew he had not had physical relations with
Mary, and yet she was found with child. All the evidence seemed
to indicate that she had been unfaithful, but the angel of
the Lord came and reassured him. Otherwise, he could have
obtained a bill of divorcement and put her away because, in
a normal situation, this would have been proof of an act of
fornication.
Recently, I talked to the oldest couple in our
local congregation. I asked the husband, “How long have you
been married?” He answered quickly, “Sixty-seven years, and
not half long enough!” He has a love for his wife, and that
is why the phrase, “not half long enough” was added to his
answer. Both of them are serving God. That makes a difference!
There are many “secrets” to successful marriages,
and among them is the necessity to resolve difficulties. Differences
between husband and wife will occur. There are adjustments
to make and things that come our way to try us, but if we
go to God, He will help us resolve them.
Both the husband and the wife have roles defined
by God, in making the marriage successful. The husband's responsibility
is explained in Ephesians 5:23, “For the husband is the head
of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church.” The
husband is to have the lead role in taking care of the household,
in providing for the family, and in supplying the spiritual
leadership. That leadership role is to be accompanied by and
administered in love. Paul continues, giving this directive,
“Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the
church, and gave himself for it” (Ephesians 5:25). Can you
measure how much love God has for His church? As husbands,
we are to love our wives as Christ loves the Church.
Peter explains one reason why this is important,
“Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge,
giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and
as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers
be not hindered” (1 Peter 3:7). Men, have you ever experienced
a time when your prayers were not going through? This is an
area to examine. Are you loving your wife and honoring her
the way you ought to?
Biblical instruction for wives is also found
in Ephesians 5. We read, “Wives, submit yourselves unto your
own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head
of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church” (Ephesians
5:22-23). Women, how do you submit yourself to the Lord? You
are to do likewise to your husband. That requirement does
not diminish you; it fulfills you.
There is a role for everyone to fill. When the
husband fulfills his role and the wife fulfills her role according
to the Word of God, it works! God blesses that union and He
blesses the home as well.
God is good, and His plan for marriage is good.
As we do our best to follow His plan, we will have His blessing
upon our lives and upon our marriage.
Rene Cassell is District Superintendent of the Apostolic
Faith work in Eastern Canada.
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