LeRoy Tonning & Vigdis Salthe Saturday, July 9, 1966

Her Story. . .

Just before Christmas in 1958 a group of church people stood on the pier to welcome the Tonning family, who had arrived on the “MS Bergensfjord” from New York. I was fourteen and we had heard a lot about their coming. We had really looked forward to having a new family as an addition to our little congregation. I saw Edna and LeRoy as they came down the walkway with their parents. LeRoy was tall and thin, wearing a huge sixpence. We got acquainted in spite of the initial language barrier, and were good friends. LeRoy was always very kind and friendly.

A few years passed, and we were busy with our own lives. I had wondered more than once who would be the one I would share my life with when I got older. Several people suggested that I should smile at LeRoy. They felt that he was such a nice guy, but I said no – he is not my type. I agreed that he was nice, and I hoped he would find a nice girl some day that he could marry, but it wouldn't be me.

I remember praying that I would find the right husband – one that was more spiritually mature than I was. I knew how easy it was to be drawn away from God, and I didn't want a husband who would be a hindrance to me in following Jesus or lead me astray. I believe that this was a prayer according to God's own heart.

The young people in the church used to spend time together on Saturday evenings. I remember one night we were gathered in our home, and we played Monopoly. LeRoy sat beside me. I didn't like this game very much, because it took such a long time to play, and LeRoy always seemed to get a hold of the best properties and build hotels on them. I was usually one of the losers. Someone touched my knee while we were playing, and my heart skipped a beat. I realized that it was LeRoy, and I didn't really know what to do. I lowered my hand carefully and took his hand under the table. Our focus on the game was not very strong, and the others wondered why we were so absent-minded.

LeRoy invited me out for a drive a while later, just the two of us. We usually had his sister with us, so this was going to be different. My heart beat faster as I waited for him to come. He was shy, and so was I, but we drove to a beautiful place looking out over a fjord and found a large rock that we could sit on. We chatted a while, and then he put his arm around me. Wow! I thought I was going to die! LeRoy was my first (and only) boyfriend, and I was quite ignorant about how to behave. LeRoy seemed to know more, and he was a good tutor.

We were not used to going to restaurants at that time. There were just a few, and they were too expensive for us. We drove around in his father's car when we wanted to be alone. We did that quite often, and he was quite a fellow! He has never been very romantic, though. He was not the type that bought flowers or gifts for me, but he was very special. It went right to my heart when I listened to him sing or play his baritone in church. My parents appreciated LeRoy, and they reckoned that he would be a good husband.

We were young and not finished with our education. LeRoy moved to Gothenburg, Sweden, to study for a few years. I felt that the waiting time was long. I was working as a secretary in an office, and I kept looking forward to having him home once in a while. He would often pick me up at work when he came home for a visit, and I could hardly wait to see him.

He finally came back again after finishing his studies, and we continued to take drives in his car. I can't really remember being engaged at any special time. It was just a natural thing to start planning our wedding. We didn't have very much money, and we found that we could live reasonably in an apartment in my parent's house. We were busy redecorating as part of the wedding plans, and felt that our small apartment turned out very nice.

The wedding reception was held in my parent's home after the church ceremony. We didn't have many guests for the reception – just our close family and some of the young people at church. We had a wonderful dinner. Tradition asks the groom to give thanks for the bride, and the bride's father gives a speech also, telling about his daughter's childhood. Songs written for the occasion are sung at the table, and others give small speeches. The evening is then spent playing games and socializing. Soft drinks, coffee, pastries and desserts are served later in the evening. The party lasts into the night, and guests are often served a bowl of soup or something like that before going home.

After the wedding on July 9, 1966, we lived four years in our little apartment before we could buy our own house.

There have been experiences in our marriage that have been difficult, as problems or differences of opinions have made it hard to speak openly, but life together has been good most of the time. I have always known that he was the right one for me, and that has made it possible to fend off the problems. I could wish that he was more romantic, but that is the way he is, and I have never wanted to swap with anyone. My heart still beats violently when he puts his arm around me, or takes me by the hand. God was good to give me LeRoy!

His Story. . .

When you have lived a while, you realize how important it is to make the right decisions when you are young. Some of the most important decisions in a person's life are made at a young age when emotions and life's priorities are not really sorted out. One of these decisions made early in life is the question of who you are going to share your life with as a family. Surveys in Norway have shown that 80% of the young people asked, say that they want to find a mate that they can share a close lifelong relationship with. Unfortunately, things happen along the way, and statistics show that almost 50% of the marriages in Norway eventually break up. Maybe the young couple didn't really put emphasis on the right things when making the choice of a life partner, or perhaps they haven't learned how to handle the dissensions that are a part of a normal relationship.

I grew up in a church where we believe that marriage should be a lifelong commitment. I knew already as a boy that my decision would have long-term consequences. Even at that, I can remember how emotions and personal opinions and interests at the time had a strong influence on my thinking. My parents and others, who tried to help me get a balanced view of what I was getting into, gave me constructive advice. I wasn't given any serious warnings, and there was no reason for that in my case, but I can remember that I wasn't willing to listen with more than one ear. Vigdis, my girlfriend was a beautiful girl, full of life, and her ways fascinated me. I had all but made up my mind, and fortunately I was heading for a good outcome.

We were young – about 18 when we got together. We had been good friends in the church group of young people for several years, and we knew each other quite well. I had looked at her for quite a while to see if there was a possibility of getting better acquainted, but she didn't seem to be interested in any closer relationship. Then one day she responded to one of my initiatives in a way that made me understand that there actually was hope, and I invited her out. I remember asking my father to borrow his car to be able to do so. He said yes, but he gave me a clear understanding that I should think this situation through. I don't really think he was ready for this. On my side, I was not in a position to let this opportunity go by.

Our first date was just a drive out in the countryside. At that time, it was unusual for a young schoolboy to be able to ask a girl out to a restaurant. We stopped at a nice spot where there was a view out over the fjord and sat a long time and talked. I remember even standing under a tree on our way back to the car, and giving her a quick kiss! By that time my heart was quite swollen, and I felt that I had won the grand prize!

We courted for about four years, and by the time marriage was a topic, I thought we knew each other quite well. Today I would say that we didn't really know very much about each other at all. We had our differences during our companionship, to be honest, but we were able to work our way through our difference of opinions without having any serious eruptions.

During our relationship, we prayed that the Lord would guide us in our decisions. We knew that we had to have God's blessings on our lives in order to be happy. We had a strong feeling that we were in the will of God, and our parents and friends in the church expressed the same opinions.

Wedding day was a joyful day. We had looked forward to our wedding for a long time, and we were not disappointed. We were all set with a small apartment and many of the things we needed to make a home, and were ready to commit ourselves to a life together. We had agreed that we wanted to serve God. We felt that this was a basic decision, and it has proved right.

This happened more than 36 years ago. We are still very happy. We have four wonderful children and six grandchildren. We still feel the need to let God be a major part of our lives, knowing that this is the absolute basis for happiness. We have met difficulties in our life together, but it is good to know that we are able to support each other, having the same ultimate goal in our lives. We realize more than ever how important it is to listen to the guidance of others and God's leading when making the important decisions in life.

LeRoy and Vigdis Tonning are still happily married and have three grown children and several grandchildren. They live in Stavanger, Norway where LeRoy is the pastor and superintendent of Scandinavian work for the Apostolic Faith Church.