Living by the Second Commandment

Are we really supposed to love
others—everyone else—as we
love ourselves?

By Cheryl Paulsen

As my husband and I sat in Sunday school, our teacher was talking about the great commandment, “Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind” (Matthew 22:37). I can’t remember whether or not the teacher quoted the second commandment, which is, “Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself,” but the Lord reminded me of it. As I sat there in class, the impact of that second verse hit me.

Love others as we love ourselves—wow! My mind quickly went over just a few of the ways that I might love myself. For example, I don’t really like anything that hurts; I am willing at times to go to great lengths to avoid painful situations. Self-preservation is automatic. I like having free time. I also like to be appreciated for doing household chores. Friends who share my goals are important to me.

Then the Spirit caused me to question, Do I really love my neighbor as I do myself? We learn from the Biblical story of the Good Samaritan that anyone can be classified as our neighbor. So, does this indicate that we are supposed to love others—everyone else—as we love ourselves? My mind began to roll on what that would mean.

At the grocery store, I like parking places close to the door. If I love others as myself, should I be generous about parking spaces? Oh, I don’t mean that I would drive off and leave an empty spot, just to be generous to some unknown person. Rather, perhaps I need to guard against being certain I get the spot if I arrive there at nearly the same time as someone else.

As I wait in line and wish the clerk would hurry, do I remember that I don’t like to feel pushed or pressed? Am I loving that clerk as myself by being patient?

When I am impatient with my husband or one of my children, do I remember that I don’t like it if they are impatient with me? Am I loving them as I love myself?

When a favor is needed, do I love others by helping out as I would want someone to help me if I were the one in need?

If I look at a situation and don’t understand why others have reacted as they have, do I love them as myself and remember that I don’t know the full picture?

When I spend time with my friends, does our conversation build others up and encourage them, remembering that I want to be edified and encouraged by what others say?

When others help or compliment me, do I love them as myself and let them know I truly appreciate their efforts and thoughtfulness?

The Golden Rule is another version of the same commandment: Do unto others as you would have them do to you. It is interesting that when Jesus gave this commandment, He said, “for this is the law and the prophets” (Matthew 7:12). How we love God, and how we love others is the crux of the matter, isn’t it?

God has been showing me that often when I feel fretful about a situation, it is because circumstances are not the way I want them to be. Perhaps I feel inconvenienced, hurt, or misunderstood. Yet, however justified I may be in feeling that way, God reminds me that laying down self means looking hard at these situations. Why am I upset? Why do I think I am misunderstood? Am I loving all others involved as much as I love myself, or am I just loving and protecting myself?

The natural bent of human beings is to love ourselves. The experience of sanctification purifies our motives and helps us to truly love others. However, I believe we need to discipline ourselves to guard against loving ourselves more than others. The enemy would love to slyly sneak this into our hearts. Part of the protection from his tactics is to ensure that loving others becomes a habit that affects all areas of our lives.

Try as we will, we cannot manufacture this type of love inside our hearts. It must be God’s love flowing through our hearts to others. How does that happen? We must submit ourselves to God in everything, even minor details. We need to yield to His plans and desires for us. And in prayer we can ask for the mind of Christ. “Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 2:5).

Sometimes we hear the saying, “What would Jesus do?” We might easily let the thought pass on through our minds and not really consider it. How would Jesus react to a stubborn toddler? How would He handle marital irritations? Would Jesus choose the form of entertainment that I do? Would He go to the places that I go? What would He say to a suffering coworker? Would He spend His time each day as I do?

What would happen if we reviewed all the situations of our lives in this light?

Cheryl Paulsen is Corporate Secretary at the Apostolic Faith International Headquarters in Portland, Oregon.