Looking for God

When this soldier cried out to the Lord for help, a miracle happened in his heart.

By Edward Dixon

When I was born in a small town in Georgia in 1953, my mother was not married. I was told that my father denied I was his child. However, after I was born, I looked so much like him that he admitted I was his son. He and my mother never married, and I was just a toddler when he moved to New Jersey.

In time my mother married, but in my early childhood years, she had to work out of town. My grandmother was the one who was there for me. My grandmother knew of the Lord and she prayed, but she did not have the teachings on how to let God have full control of her life. Growing up, I went to church, and I knew that God was in Heaven, but I did not understand about being born again.

A childhood prayer answered

One time I told my mother that I wanted a bicycle. We were poor and did not even have running water inside our home. She said, “Well, Son, we cannot afford to buy a bicycle, but you pray and see if God will bless you with one.” So I did that.

It was some years before the answer came. I was cleaning a lady’s home to earn some money, and there was a bicycle her daughter had outgrown. When I asked if I could buy it, she said that I could just have the bicycle. It was a girl’s bike, but I went to a machine shop and asked them to weld a crossbar on it. I was so excited that God had answered my prayer.

During my school years, my brother and I joined a church. The church people sat us on the front row of seats, and throughout the service I was anticipating what was going to happen. When the service was over, the preacher and different members of the church came by and shook our hands and welcomed us, and left me still wondering what was going to happen. After that, I expected my life to be different, but it was not; I knew that I was still sinning. Although later I was trained to be the church secretary and the treasurer, and I taught Sunday school, I still did not know how to be saved.

There was hatred in my heart because my father did not raise me. When I graduated from high school, I decided to join the military and volunteer for service in Vietnam. Although I did not recognize it at the time, the devil was telling me, “It was an accident that you came into this world: why not be an accident leaving this world?”

Heart touched by kindness

During basic training, an officer and his wife invited me to their home. They were white people, and having grown up with segregation, their kindness impressed me. These people were Christians, and he said, “Let’s compare God to man.” He mentioned that God is love, and I said that man does not love. God is forgiving; man is not. He continued to innumerate what God is, and I realized that man is totally the opposite. After we finished, we had a positive and a negative list. Then he drew a cross that touched from the list of items about God to the items about man. He explained that this is why Christ came, so He could bridge the gap and we could come to God.

For the first time in my life I understood the salvation message. He asked me if I wanted to give my life to the Lord. I thought about it and decided that I was not ready, but I knew that one day I wanted to live for God.

Even though I was not a Christian, God was intervening in my life. When my orders came through, they were not for Vietnam but for Germany. There I met three young soldiers—Mike, Owen, and Steve—who were actively involved with God.

“Jesus loves you”

One night, Mike was in charge of the barracks. As the men came into the building, they had to sign in with him. The young men had been out drinking, and they cursed and ridiculed him, calling him all kinds of names because he was a Christian. He just sat there smiling at them and saying, “Jesus loves you.” I was sitting in the room, and I heard a Voice, not with my natural ears but within me, ask, “Whose side are you on?” I was going to say I was on the Christian side because of my childhood days and the moral life that I lived. Then the officer’s testimony about the difference between God and man came before me. I realized that although I was moral, I was just as bad as those young men, because I was not saved. God let me see myself as He saw me, and I realized that I was not on His side.

Alone, I went to my room and locked the door. I knelt and began asking God to help me. I prayed and prayed. It seemed as if I was drifting down into a pit with light coming from above, yet there was no way I could stop myself from drifting. Again I asked God to help me. Eventually I went to the window, looked out at the sky, and said, “Lord, I need you so badly, and You are so far away.”

I remembered that Steve had once said he walked and talked with God. So I decided that I would walk around our field and see if God would talk with me. As I stepped outside the building, Steve came from somewhere and asked if he could walk with me. I agreed and said, “Steve, I am looking for God.” A flood of tears began to run down my face. I didn’t want anyone to see me cry, but I could not hold the tears back. Steve reached into his pocket and pulled out a little Bible. He began to read Scriptures to me, and it seemed as if every verse he read had me in it. It was as if God was talking directly to me.

A heavy weight lifted

When Steve finished, we were on the steps of a building under a nightlight. He asked me, “Do you still want God to come into your life?” When I said yes, he said, “Invite Him into your heart.” I can remember when I told God, “I invite You to come into my heart and save me.” It was like a heavy weight that I had been carrying was lifted off, and it was replaced with peace, joy, love, and happiness.

A smile came on my face, and I wanted to go back and tell Mike. When we went into the barracks, before I could speak, Mike looked at me and smiled. He could tell there had been a change in my life.

That weekend I went to church with Mike. The preacher said to get saved and then get the Holy Ghost. As I prayed and prayed, the Lord did something wonderful in my life, and I knew it, but I knew that I did not receive the baptism of the Holy Ghost. On the way home, Mike asked, “Have you ever heard of sanctification?” He gave me a tract to read, and after I read it, I realized that God had sanctified me.

Prayed for a marriage partner

One day I told God, “I believe You bless some people to marry and some not to marry. Lord, if it is Your will for me to marry, bless me with a wife. If it is Your will for me not to marry, give me contentment.” Where I went to church, there were no Christian young ladies who were single. One day, a Christian man said to me, “I met your wife today.” He did not know that I was praying for a wife. He asked me to transport this young lady to and from a Bible study, and that became a pattern. I became concerned about where she had to walk to get to work, so I began to take her to work also. We were married over twenty-six years ago while we were still in Germany.

When we came back to the States, God worked it out for us to go to Georgia, and we obtained an apartment in Columbus. A lady came by one day and invited my wife to the Apostolic Faith Church. We went and listened attentively. In time, we realized this was where God wanted us. I wanted to be sure all three basic Christian experiences were in order in my life, so I went down on my knees for that reassurance, which God provided.

Reconciled with his father

God allowed me to be reconciled with my biological father. He came to my home one day, and I told my children, “This is your grandfather.” After he left, the Lord spoke to my heart, “See, you forgave him and this is proof. If you would not have forgiven him for not being there for you, you would not have allowed your children to call him Grandfather.” From time to time now we visit my father. I thank God for reuniting us and giving me the ability to forgive him.

I thank God for how He has worked in my life. I thank Him for bringing me to the truth, and I want to serve Him with all my heart.

Edward Dixon is the pastor of the
Apostolic Faith Church in Columbus, Georgia.