Happily Ever After

Outside of our original and continuing decision to serve God, we’ll probably never face a more momentous choice than who we should marry. Kind of scary, huh?

If the car we decide to buy turns out to be a lemon, we can always get a different one.If the college course we decide on to fill out our credits is a bust, we can transfer. If the color we chose to paint our bedroom walls is revolting, we can head back to the paint store.

But we don’t get a second chance regarding who we marry. God designed marriage to last until death. So, how do we make sure we’re connecting our lives with the right person?

We start by recognizing that any choice based on our own reasoning, evaluation, or feelings is going to be unreliable. We can’t possibly know all there is to know about anyone. We can’t see the future. There’s really only one infallible source of guidance: God!

So we start with prayer: sincere, heartfelt, determined prayer. We let God know that we want His will, and that we will not make a decision until He reveals it. This prayer can’t be a casual, “I’m sure this must be the one, don’t you agree, Lord?” thrown heavenward. And we must not pray about something already spelled out in His Word. For example, what would be the point in praying about whether it would be all right to marry a non-Christian? God’s Word clearly says, “Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers” (2 Corinthians 6:14). We have the answer already.

Next, we need to think about the attributes of true love listed in 1 Corinthians 13 and the evidences of a Spirit-filled life given in Galatians 5:22,23. Then it’s time to do some inventorying. The one we consider marrying should live and love according to these standards. Building a marriage on anything less is risky business!

We’ll need to spend some time studying God’s pattern for marriage. Is that man or girl of our dreams ready to step into the role God has defined? The Bible teaches that wives are to submit to their husbands. In our day of women’s rights, submission is far from being a popular refrain. But it’s Biblical! Husbands are to love their wives as Christ loved the Church, and to be the spiritual leader, protector, and provider. Is he ready to fill that position?

The advice of our parents and other spiritual counselors shouldn’t be overlooked. Love may be blind, but very likely our adult associates still have their eyes open. They can offer a perspective based on years of experience.

Finally, we must take a long look at our spiritual values and goals. Will marriage to this person draw us closer to those goals and to the Lord? Will this relationship deepen our desire to serve God or distract us from that purpose?

It’s critical that we don’t rush into making this vital decision. Yes, it’s hard to wait! We’ve all had the thought cross our minds that while we ponder and pray, all the good ones are marching to the altar. But not so. If we are waiting on God, He will have the right one come along in His time.

Are we willing to wait?